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kittles88
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Name: Krystle Cruz
Birthday: 1/22/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: singing, dancing, writing, reading, living and loving is my life. I like to pretend that I'm deep, but really I just ramble on profusely. Sweeeeeeet.
Expertise: umm... my elbows can bend the other way?
Occupation: Daily Reflector of Christ
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
3/30/2003
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| So I haven't written in here in a while and i dont think anyone even reads this anymore but...oh well. I'll write anyway.
So what's new?
Well..I am reaching a huge turning point in my life. God is giving and taking away a lot from me and I am slowly seeing more clearly what He wants for my life. All at once I am overwhelmed, excited, scared, and ultimately, ready to move on. For a while I struggled in my faith and felt as though I was living two lives. One for the world and one for the Kingdom. But there is only one way to go and that's up. So I'm gunna continue on that path. I can't really give details as to what opportunities and offers I've been approached with... or what decisions I will be making in the next couple of months. But just know that things will change for the better. I am leaving what I can't save anymore and I'm pursuing what really matters to me. I can't stay because I feel stuck. I have to do what's right. And if staying doesn't make you realize the righteousness of the Holy Spirit, then I must do the opposite. I don't want to be of this world anymore. I truly, honestly want God to receive me back into His arms. I don't wanna worry anymore, I need peace in my heart.
Nonetheless, thank you for everything. I will never forget. But I won't be here forever. My only desire is to live by the kingdom, as long as my flesh dies and my soul lives on.
For a while I was so lost in the wilderness, but now I've re-found the narrow path leading to the Light. This time, my only desire is to walk that path. Even if it means I have to do it alone.
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| "Phenomenal Woman" Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.I'm not cute or built to fit a fashion model's sizeBut when I start to tell them,They think I'm telling lies.I say,It's in the reach of my armsThe span of my hipsThe stride of my step,The curl of my lips.I'm a womanPhenomenally.Phenomenal woman,That's me. I walk into a roomJust as cool as you please,And to a man,The fellows stand orFall down on their knees.They swarm around me,A hive of honey bees.I say,It's the fire in my eyes,And the flash of my teeth,The swing in my waist,And the joy in my feet.I'm a womanPhenomenally.Phenomenal woman,That's me. Men themselves have wonderedWhat they see in me.They try so muchBut they can't touchMy inner mystery.When I try to show them,They say they still can't see.I say,It's the arch of my backThe sun in my smile,The ride of my breasts,The grace of my style.I'm a womanPhenomenally.Phenomenal woman,That's me. Now you understandJust why my head's not bowed.I don't shout or jump aboutOr have to talk real loud.When you see me passing,I ought to make you proudI say,It's the click of my heals,The bend of my hair,The need for my care.'Cause I'm a womanPhenomenally.Phenomenal woman,That's me. | | |
| the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak -thanks to guest pastor scott | | |
| I need to stop caring about my worldly desires and fleshly emotions. I'm so lost and confused. I do and I don't know what God wants for me right now. It's so unclear. I worry about relationships. Yet I know it's all in God's hands. Please pray for me. I need to focus on what's important. I need to stop caring so much about things and people I can't depend on. The road is narrow. | | |
| So this weekend has been such a blessing. i've reached a turning point in my faith. God has restored my trust in Him, not that it is up to Him to do that but I have been so stubborn and careless about trusting in Him that He showed me that He really can work miracles. Just a heads up, this entry will probably seem pretty vague to you because I'm only brushing on the topic and not focusing on specifics...which are too personal to post on a public blog. Anyway, lately God has placed people in my life who are so good for me and i for them. Friends who can hold me accountable, like forreal. At the same time, he has taken away the ones who I don't need...which hurts, because I placed a lot of faith in them when I should have kept it with Him. It's a constant cycle I go through. Well, anyone who is in Christ experiences it. It's just so funny how we all come back to square one with God. So many times we just want to follow our own path but only God's will is right for us. At church yesterday, the guest band Beauty From Ashes played one of my favorite worship songs, "Blessed Be Your Name," which i probably have mentioned in previous entries. But the lyric in the song "you give and take away" always resonates within me. When I sing it, I say it with truth. It's almost like i'm in a trance because God's love is so powerful and real... nothing of this world. As for relationships, God has once again shown me what I need. Only Him. no one else. I feel that he has called me to minister first before committing to any other man but Himself. It just never feels right for me to jump into a relationship. I've developed such an independent spirit that I can't turn back on.. at least not for a while. I've been given way more responsibilities this year... dancing on Hi-Fi, being the executive assistant of eketc, working two jobs, going to school, and just being a 19-year-old girl (yuck). In each of these responsibilities pervades an underlying ministry. There are so many ways I can use my gifts and talents to further the gospel. I took the spiritual gifts test on the rock church website and I scored highest as Leader. That was a shock. I thought I would score highest as an Encourager but the test proved me wrong. I saw it as God's way of showing me that I am capable of so much that i don't even realize but I'm not using it for the greater good. One of the reasons why Im afraid of holding a leadership position in ministry is the pressure of being held up at a pedestal. My fear is having to deal with the opposition and criticism, but what leader doesnt fear that? Either way, leaders must endure these trials. I just need to know exactly what God wants me to do. I have to admit, over a period of months I almost gave up on my faith. But God has shown me through His ways that He can save even the people I doubted the most. It happened forreal. i couldn't believe it. The Lord basically slapped me in the face and reassured me how powerful He really is. I was almost brought to tears last night and earlier today just thinking about it. I am so happy with life, mostly the life God has given me to live. I am a living sacrifice willing to stand for the righteous. Thank you to my brothers and sisters in Christ for the good times and reminding me to live for the one who made me and saved me. To my newly saved brothers and sisters in Christ, welcome. You dont understand and will never grasp how excited and ecstatic i am that you are with us. Just because you are saved doesn't mean life is full of butterflies and pretty flowers... it just gets harder. BUT don't worry, we are here for you. I am here for you. As long as we are held accountable, we will make it. "Enter through the narrow gate, for wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destuction, and many enter through it." -Matthew 7:13 Love, Krystle | | |
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